Happy (Serving Executive Busy Business Lady Executive Realness) Mustache Wednesday, live from Canada, eh!
What the French Toast!?! More than four hours after I arrived at the airport and I’m still on a stinkin’ plane!!! Don’t tell the flight attendant that I decided to post this status update from the plane lavatory at 20,000 feet in the air.
I’m kidding! My plane landed 45 minutes ago and I’m stuck in customs, sheesh!!! Um, no, I don’t have any fruit in my bag, Mr. Customs Agent. Unless you count, you know, me and stuff. Federal Marriage Equality Now!
After our meh day at Universal Studios, we went for a swim and hung out by the pool because, you know, we’re in Florida and stuff! Busy daddy had cocktails, while the boy and I swam around and minded our own beeswax.
There was this lady sitting by the pool bar who was 1) eating nachos, 2) drinking a margarita and 3) smoking—all at the same time!!! It was sort of a marvel to behold. Like, at one point she put a nacho chip in her mouth, took a sip from her glass and then took a drag from her cig. She was chewing and drinking and smoking simultaneously!!! I think she caught me staring at her because she shot me a mean look.
And I was all, Guurrl, you have some mad skillz, but why you coming at me!?! I ain’t the one who’s chewing and drinking and smoking all at the same time, sheesh! And she was all, “You mad or what?” And I was all, I ain’t mad, yo. I’m just in awe, is all.
If the smokes don’t kill her, then her brown leather purse tan will.
Separately, fake boobies seem to be very popular in Florida. Just an observation.