I guess the reason why the TSA agent was all up in my grill and frisking my hair this morning at the airport was because apparently ma hurr did in my passport pic looks nothing like the current state of ma hurr did in real life. I tried to explain to him that sometimes this thing in nature happens where your hair grows and stuff, but it turns out that it’s an Asian thing, and only my doppelgänger Kim Jung-un and I can serve Executive Hurr Did Realness while going through airport security. I wanted to tell the TSA agent that the first rule of Ma Hurr Did Club is, You Don’t Touch Ma Hurr Did, bro; and the second rule of Ma Hurr Did Club is, You Don’t Touch Ma Hurr Did, bro! But I had a flight to catch and I didn’t want to make a scene or whatevs. Maybe today was a bad day to start werking my new toupée?

I guess the reason why the TSA agent was all up in my grill and frisking my hair this morning at the airport was because apparently ma hurr did in my passport pic looks nothing like the current state of ma hurr did in real life. I tried to explain to him that sometimes this thing in nature happens where your hair grows and stuff, but it turns out that it’s an Asian thing, and only my doppelgänger Kim Jung-un and I can serve Executive Hurr Did Realness while going through airport security.

I wanted to tell the TSA agent that the first rule of Ma Hurr Did Club is, You Don’t Touch Ma Hurr Did, bro; and the second rule of Ma Hurr Did Club is, You Don’t Touch Ma Hurr Did, bro! But I had a flight to catch and I didn’t want to make a scene or whatevs.

Maybe today was a bad day to start werking my new toupée?

Lazy Dad’s Guide to Lazy Dad’s Guide to Everything, Who the Heck Is Everypony?

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There are a bunch of random characters who show up on Lazy Dad’s Guide, but the characters who make the most frequent appearances on my blog are our dear friends, the Designing-Business family. Because there was some confusion about who’s who, here’s a more detailed breakdown of our Little Lazy-Busy-Designing-Business Empire of bald, bespectacled daddies and our kids and stuff:

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A Few Words on Tags, Memes, and Casual Racism

Not in the mood today for the usual bullshit on Tumblr. Feel free to skip this one.

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Hey everypony! This is my 2,500th post! And it’s a post about this post being my 2,500th post! W00t!

Obvs my Following-to-Follower ratio is a teeny-tiny bit out of whack. If I’m not following you and I should, let me know! I do have a few rules about the kinds of blogs I like to follow. Hint: I’m not a fan of porny blogs, not because I’m judge-y and stuff, but mostly because my kid sometimes likes to scroll through my dash with me. Also, I don’t like mean people or people who are mean to other Tumblrers. But I do like ice cream and mustaches.

More of a statement than a question, but I just started reading your blog today and I am completely in love with you and your family. I cant look away or get any work done and will be swamed monday, but I dont even care. My son is in kindergarten this year and I sincerely hope that his friends have parents as cool as you seem to be. Okay, I do have a question. How exactly do you deal with kids picking on your son? I saw your post about the older kids and felt the rage!

Oh gosh, you are too sweet, thanks! I’m happy to be anypony’s timesuck. In fact, I should be finishing up some Very Important Things at work right now, but I decided to dilly-dally a bit while I wait for feedback from some of my busy business lady colleagues.

I’m sorry to disappoint, but I was named Least Cool Dad in my son’s first grade class. Mostly because the other parents are mean and don’t understand my particular flavor of genius. Oh well. Their loss. (At least that’s what my mom tells me.)

Also, I might talk a big game, but really, all I do is stew and seethe about the downfall of humanity whenever I see a bully knock on my kid—or on any kid, really. And then I blog about it.

Actually, my son doesn’t really get picked on at school. He’s very friendly and well-adjusted. It’s just that there are a couple of bad seeds who live on our street. There are a bunch of nice kids on our street, too, but the jerks kind of ruin it for everyone else.

When it comes to bullying, my parenting philosophy is this: I tell my son, if someone is bothering you, calmly and firmly tell him or her to leave you alone. If he or she persists, walk away. If he or she stalks you, then tell someone, like a teacher. If the harassment continues or if anyone lays a hand on you first, then you have my permission to Do Whatever It Takes to make them realize that you are not someone to be messed with.

I admit that it’s not a perfect philosophy. I’m still working out the details.

Thanks for your question!