Because I am allegedly a grownup, I waited until the last minute decided to tackle preparing my 2013 taxes the night before meeting with my accountant. I’ll tell you what, despite my compulsive hoarding disorder, I’m amazed that I’m always able to find all of the important-slash-relevant docs that I need when it comes to tax season. It’s like I have some kind of weird sixth sense for tracking down that shizz. Werk.
Doing my taxes is a bit like strolling down memory lane, only looking through the lens of all of the money that I didn’t make and/or way over-spent. I experienced some wicked flashbacks of what a total shit year 2013 was for me.
To recap my 2013:
I got canned from a job that I once lurved (that is until my terrific boss left the company and the bigwigs installed a complete moron in his place).
I got a new job, which is, like, a bajillion times better and/or more glamorous than my previous started-out-great-then-turned-awful job, obvs.
I travelled a lot for werk.
We adopted a baby.
Then we lost the baby.
I spent a shizzton of money that I didn’t have because of reasons.
I didn’t save enough money.
Here’s to a better and more prosperous 2014! It couldn’t possibly suck as much as last year, amirite?

Because I am allegedly a grownup, I waited until the last minute decided to tackle preparing my 2013 taxes the night before meeting with my accountant. I’ll tell you what, despite my compulsive hoarding disorder, I’m amazed that I’m always able to find all of the important-slash-relevant docs that I need when it comes to tax season. It’s like I have some kind of weird sixth sense for tracking down that shizz. Werk.

Doing my taxes is a bit like strolling down memory lane, only looking through the lens of all of the money that I didn’t make and/or way over-spent. I experienced some wicked flashbacks of what a total shit year 2013 was for me.

To recap my 2013:

  • I got canned from a job that I once lurved (that is until my terrific boss left the company and the bigwigs installed a complete moron in his place).
  • I got a new job, which is, like, a bajillion times better and/or more glamorous than my previous started-out-great-then-turned-awful job, obvs.
  • I travelled a lot for werk.
  • We adopted a baby.
  • Then we lost the baby.
  • I spent a shizzton of money that I didn’t have because of reasons.
  • I didn’t save enough money.

Here’s to a better and more prosperous 2014! It couldn’t possibly suck as much as last year, amirite?

mrjarkalooky:

In case there was ever any doubt that I have the Most Glamorous Job in the World, the preeminent authority of All Things Glamorous has confirmed this as fact. I dunno, it’s awight.

True story: I spent, like, two hours with the super-nice, super-talented New York Times photographer, who followed me around and snapped pics of me working and stuff. As you can imagine, the pics were positively riveting! There was a pic of me on a conference call! And there was a pic of me editing a 16-page document! And then there was a pic of me editing photos and videos for a pretty Keynote presentation! Seriously, pics of me working are super-glamorous, obvs. I dunno how the esteemed NYT editors chose just one pic!!!
Also, I actually wore pants for the photo shoot instead of wearing my usual boxer shorts while I’m at work in my home office. Why does my noggin look so big compared to my teeny-tiny body?

mrjarkalooky:

In case there was ever any doubt that I have the Most Glamorous Job in the World, the preeminent authority of All Things Glamorous has confirmed this as fact. I dunno, it’s awight.

True story: I spent, like, two hours with the super-nice, super-talented New York Times photographer, who followed me around and snapped pics of me working and stuff. As you can imagine, the pics were positively riveting! There was a pic of me on a conference call! And there was a pic of me editing a 16-page document! And then there was a pic of me editing photos and videos for a pretty Keynote presentation! Seriously, pics of me working are super-glamorous, obvs. I dunno how the esteemed NYT editors chose just one pic!!!

Also, I actually wore pants for the photo shoot instead of wearing my usual boxer shorts while I’m at work in my home office. Why does my noggin look so big compared to my teeny-tiny body?

I’m pretty sure that some of you nice peeps may have accidentally started following my blog recently when you actually meant to follow J. Bizzle’s adorbz selfie blog.
I’m sorry to disappoint. It’s OK if you wanna unfollow. NBD. I actually don’t know much about J. Bizzle or his hi-larious shenanigans. All I know is that J. Bizzle has a really small head and likes to wear ginormous hats and stuff. 
The management of Lazy Dad’s Guide to Everything regrets any misrepresentation or uncontrollable bouts of nausea and/or diarrhea this may have caused. Thank you.

I’m pretty sure that some of you nice peeps may have accidentally started following my blog recently when you actually meant to follow J. Bizzle’s adorbz selfie blog.

I’m sorry to disappoint. It’s OK if you wanna unfollow. NBD. I actually don’t know much about J. Bizzle or his hi-larious shenanigans. All I know is that J. Bizzle has a really small head and likes to wear ginormous hats and stuff

The management of Lazy Dad’s Guide to Everything regrets any misrepresentation or uncontrollable bouts of nausea and/or diarrhea this may have caused. Thank you.

Looking back at the past week of posts on my blog, it dawned on me that some peeps who may have recently started following Lazy Dad’s Guide to Everything by accident are probably all, “Who is this weirdo and why does he write like a 16-year-old girl and why is he obsessed with RuPaul’s Drag Race?”
First, I’m sorry to disappoint, but I’m actually not a 16-year-old girl, despite what my blog sounds like sometimes. In fact, I’m allegedly a full-grown man with a real job, a spouse, a kid, and a couple of pups, so go figure. Second, I seem to be posting a lot about drag superstars only cuz that’s what’s been on my mind lately, but I actually write about other shizz, too. Mostly about what I’m eating and stuff.
This tag is useful for background, if you’re still confused. I sometimes write like a real person. Usually not. I have a love/hate relationship with writing. I kinda sorta have a love/hate relationship with Tumblr, too.
If you’re the kind of person who likes to use the Book of Faces, you can like the Lazy Dad’s Guide to Everything page there. Or not. Whatevs. I also write a less aggro blog, which coincidentally is also called Lazy Dad’s Guide to Everything, only cuz I lack imagination.
I’ve kinda sorta scaled back on blogging on Tumblr recently because of reasons.
Here’s a pic of the lazy pups cuz they are adorbz, obvs.

Looking back at the past week of posts on my blog, it dawned on me that some peeps who may have recently started following Lazy Dad’s Guide to Everything by accident are probably all, “Who is this weirdo and why does he write like a 16-year-old girl and why is he obsessed with RuPaul’s Drag Race?”

First, I’m sorry to disappoint, but I’m actually not a 16-year-old girl, despite what my blog sounds like sometimes. In fact, I’m allegedly a full-grown man with a real job, a spouse, a kid, and a couple of pups, so go figure. Second, I seem to be posting a lot about drag superstars only cuz that’s what’s been on my mind lately, but I actually write about other shizz, too. Mostly about what I’m eating and stuff.

This tag is useful for background, if you’re still confused. I sometimes write like a real person. Usually not. I have a love/hate relationship with writing. I kinda sorta have a love/hate relationship with Tumblr, too.

If you’re the kind of person who likes to use the Book of Faces, you can like the Lazy Dad’s Guide to Everything page there. Or not. Whatevs. I also write a less aggro blog, which coincidentally is also called Lazy Dad’s Guide to Everything, only cuz I lack imagination.

I’ve kinda sorta scaled back on blogging on Tumblr recently because of reasons.

Here’s a pic of the lazy pups cuz they are adorbz, obvs.

Let me preface by saying thanks to all of you nice peeps for following my silly blog and hanging in there when weird shizz happens. I don’t say it often enough, but I really do appreciate your follows and your hearts and your comments. I do, sincerely. So, thanks.
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I’m sorry that I don’t always respond or like back or heart back or follow back. I’m not ignoring you. If you think I should follow you and I’m not, let me know. I am always happy to follow nice peeps.
As for responding and commenting and liking-slash-hearting back, despite appearances, I actually do work a full-time job and I do have a shizzton of personal responsibilities that keep me from being completely engaged with Tumblr all of the time. Most times I’m just absentmindedly scrolling through my dash during my lunch break or late at night before I fall asleep, so I don’t really know what’s going on the majority of the time. Also, I’m terrible about back reading, mostly due to lack of time, but not due to lack of interest.
Honestly, I am confounded everyday that anyone who isn’t related to me or doesn’t actually know me IRL would even bother to pay attention to the drivel that I post. When I started Lazy Dad’s Guide to Everything, it was essentially meant to be an extended inside joke between me and my sister and my sister-in-law and busy daddy. Really, I write this blog for an audience of four. I did not (and still don’t) approach my blog as a vehicle to make money or garner attention. It’s cool if that’s what you wanna do with your own blog, God bless, but that’s not my cuppa lukewarm water.
Also, the last thing I wanna do on my blog is to get into online fights or get sucked into Tumblr-bullshit-drama, especially with peeps I don’t know and, frankly, don’t care about. I’m sure lots of peeps have Very Strong Opinions, and it’s great that they have them, but I don’t care what those opinions are and those peeps with Very Strong Opinions are wasting their time if they think that they can convert me to their ways of thinking. I promise not to impose my values on you if you promise to STFU about things that have nothing to do with me, please and thank you.
I write this blog just for laffs, and if you get a laff or two from it, too, that’s great. But I’m not an ideologue nor am I an expert at anything (save for maybe twerking, but that’s another story). Thus, I hate strongly dislike ideologues or self-appointed experts. Which is why I strictly don’t follow or interact with ideologues or self-appointed experts. Cuz ideologues and self-appointed experts are stoopid.
I’m interested in real people who share their real stories, but whatever personal bullshit and hangups they bring to the table, I will usually ignore. Unless, of course, I care, then I really do care.
It seems as if there’s something in the air cuz there’s a lot of weird shizz happening lately on Tumblr. I think it’s partly due to a generalized sense of anxiety that seems to be pervading the Interwebz, but mostly it seems like there’s a growing sense of entitlement about what the value-slash-communication exchange actually is between blogger and follower-slash-reader.
Let me state for the record that I don’t expect anything from you. Like or don’t like, follow or don’t follow, it’s all good. My only request is that if you like or don’t like, follow or don’t follow, you do so with an open mind and an open heart. If you’re inclined to incite drama and/or if you’re an asshole, then piss off.
That said, I’ll probably dial down the personal stuff on Tumblr for awhile, but feel free to keep up with the Busy-Lazy boys’ adventures at my new blog home. Or don’t. I won’t take it personally. If you’re so inclined, you can also like the Lazy Dad’s Guide to Everything page on the Book of Faces. Or don’t. NBD.

Let me preface by saying thanks to all of you nice peeps for following my silly blog and hanging in there when weird shizz happens. I don’t say it often enough, but I really do appreciate your follows and your hearts and your comments. I do, sincerely. So, thanks.

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