This photo booth pic from the mall pretty much encapsulates the Busy-Lazy boys’ day so far.
The lazy pups have been feeling stir crazy all day, on account of the fact that our backyard is covered in nearly two feet of snow so there’s not much running room for them. The lazy pups have pretty much gone out a couple of times to do their business and then they’ve spent the rest of the day couch surfing. As usual, regular lazy pup seems to be fairing better than mini lazy pup, mostly because regular lazy pup is a normal dog and mini lazy pup is clinically insane.
Once nightfall came, though, mini lazy pup calmed down, found his favorite spot on the couch, and crashed. Sometimes I think life would be 36 percent easier if I was more like mini lazy pup. That is, spend four waking hours a day having a nervous breakdown and then spend the remaining 20 hours a day sleeping and/or chillaxing. Maybe not.
Remember that one time when I went to Staples to make some copies and I spied that “nice old lady” who was making, like, a bajillion copies for her ginorous scrapbooking project and how she totes wouldn’t share her sour gummie rings with me? This afternoon when the boy and I went to Staples to, um, make some copies, guess who I ran into again? None other than that nice old lady, who turns out to be a Completely Crazy Old Hag!
After a busy afternoon of running all over most of northern New Jersey, the boy was understandably pooped out, so while we were waiting for my copies to be made, the boy asked if he could sit down and play with his iPad. I said, Sure, but as soon as the boy sat down on a stool, that
nice old lady Completely Crazy Old Hag said to me, “Your boy better not touch any of my papers!!!” And I was all, My son is nowhere near your papers, they will be fine.
And then Completely Crazy Old Hag was all, “I know what little boys are like with their touching!!!” And I was all, Listen, you decrepit simpleton, I don’t give a shizz what kind of experience you’ve had in the past with the imbecile children that you have clearly been surrounded by, but my son isn’t going to disturb your precious paperwork, so kindly piss off.
Then Completely Crazy Old Hag was all, “These are very important papers!!!” And I was all, We are sitting four-feet away from your precious Dead Sea Scrolls, you moron, so STFU before I duct tape your face hole shut.
Apparently I was being “rude” and “disrespectful,” but I say Completely Crazy Old Hag was being “belligerent” and “clearly senile,” so whatevs. Also, I totes want to rescind my offer to help with designing her scrapbook using InDesign instead of Scotch Tape.
Gosh, sometimes I just
hate really strongly totally dislike crazy old people.
Since I had the entire evening to myself last night, I pretty much just sulked in the dark with a glass of lukewarm water watching MSNBC until bedtime and/or I might have browsed the Tom Hardy tag on Tumblr for shizz and giggz, whichever.
Apparently busy daddy got home late, but who knows? Early in the morning I got my hurr did, then had a quik-e workout with Fake Chris at the gym, then picked up the boy from his sleepover with Eddie K at the Designing-Business Chateau.
I asked designing daddy how the boy behaved and designing daddy reported that everypony was well-behaved. There were no broken bones or gouged out eyeballs, so I call the sleepover a success.
What should we have for lunch today?