We had Five Guys for dinner, but that’s not the relevant point of this story. After dinner, as the Busy-Lazy boys were leaving the parking lot, we were rear-ended in our brand new car! Have I mentioned that it’s a brand new car? No one was hurt, but our brand new car was smashed up a bit. I did place a curse on the stupid driver who wasn’t paying attention and smashed into our brand new car. Stupid. Hmm, I guess I should be more furious about this than I am right now. I was actually livid at the time, but I didn’t think it would be prudent to assault the moron driver in front of my kid. Gosh, I wish you could have seen his stupid, smug face. Have I mentioned that I drive like an 85-year-old lady? I don’t understand why some men feel the need to drive big, fast, European cars. And in the freakin’ suburbs, no less. I’ve been told that it has something to do with overcompensating for a condition known as “micro-penis,” but that hasn’t been confirmed.

We had Five Guys for dinner, but that’s not the relevant point of this story. After dinner, as the Busy-Lazy boys were leaving the parking lot, we were rear-ended in our brand new car! Have I mentioned that it’s a brand new car? No one was hurt, but our brand new car was smashed up a bit. I did place a curse on the stupid driver who wasn’t paying attention and smashed into our brand new car. Stupid.

Hmm, I guess I should be more furious about this than I am right now. I was actually livid at the time, but I didn’t think it would be prudent to assault the moron driver in front of my kid. Gosh, I wish you could have seen his stupid, smug face. Have I mentioned that I drive like an 85-year-old lady? I don’t understand why some men feel the need to drive big, fast, European cars. And in the freakin’ suburbs, no less. I’ve been told that it has something to do with overcompensating for a condition known as “micro-penis,” but that hasn’t been confirmed.

While busy daddy was finishing up his workout, the boy and I had a quik-e pre-lunch snack at the gym cafe. I realize that some people would frown on me allowing my kid to eat a bag of potato chips right before lunchtime, but when it comes to snacks and meals, the lazy rule is: As long as you eat all of your proper meal, it doesn’t matter if you have snacks before or after.

We went to Five Guys for late lunch because, well, it’s Saturday. Sure enough, the boy ate his entire sandwich.

Side note: the cashier at Five Guys always asks whether or not I want to add drinks and fries before I’ve had a chance to place my entire order (which pretty much always includes drinks and fries for everyone).

So today, I ordered drinks and fries first, then ordered our sandwiches. When I completed my order, the cashier asked if I wanted to add drinks and fries to my order. I said, Those were the first things that I ordered. The cashier said, “You did?” I said, Yes, I did. The cashier said, “Oh, um, would you like an extra order of drinks and fries?” I said, Did you just ask me if I wanted to order six drinks and six fries for three people? The cashier said, “Um, yeah, I guess I did?” I said, The answer would be, No.

The Busy-Lazy boys had a late lunch with designing daddy and Eddie K after the gym and the pool. Since it’s Saturday, we had burgers and a giant pile of french fries at Five Guys. It was OK because we worked off at least 12 calories at the gym, so, you know, deep-fried potatoes were totally within our dietary regimens. Plus, Five Guys just started serving a new line of “calorie-free” fries, so there’s that.

The Busy-Lazy boys had a late lunch with designing daddy and Eddie K after the gym and the pool. Since it’s Saturday, we had burgers and a giant pile of french fries at Five Guys. It was OK because we worked off at least 12 calories at the gym, so, you know, deep-fried potatoes were totally within our dietary regimens. Plus, Five Guys just started serving a new line of “calorie-free” fries, so there’s that.

My run-in with that moron Sharon at the gym this morning totally threw off my game, which resulted in a few angry rounds of squash with Chris G. I told him what happened and what a moron Sharon is, and he essentially agreed that everyone already knows that she’s a moron. Chris G said, “Unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of job options for an unskilled woman in her 40s.” And I’m like, Hold up, you think Sharon is in her 40s? Try 60s. Because if that’s what 40 is supposed to look like, then I’m freakin’ Dorian Gray. And Chris G said, “Who’s Dorothy Gray?” And I’m like, Oh Chris G, to be 25 years old again. After my session with Chris G, I took the boy for a quik-e lunch at Five Guys, while busy daddy was at yoga with designing daddy. There was a cute firefighter in line ahead of us. So to shake Sharon’s Debbie Downer bad mojo, I present to you a pic of cute firefighter because, you know, firefighters are hot and stuff.

My run-in with that moron Sharon at the gym this morning totally threw off my game, which resulted in a few angry rounds of squash with Chris G. I told him what happened and what a moron Sharon is, and he essentially agreed that everyone already knows that she’s a moron.

Chris G said, “Unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of job options for an unskilled woman in her 40s.” And I’m like, Hold up, you think Sharon is in her 40s? Try 60s. Because if that’s what 40 is supposed to look like, then I’m freakin’ Dorian Gray. And Chris G said, “Who’s Dorothy Gray?” And I’m like, Oh Chris G, to be 25 years old again.

After my session with Chris G, I took the boy for a quik-e lunch at Five Guys, while busy daddy was at yoga with designing daddy. There was a cute firefighter in line ahead of us. So to shake Sharon’s Debbie Downer bad mojo, I present to you a pic of cute firefighter because, you know, firefighters are hot and stuff.