Little known fact about my son: he is a 65-year-old curmudgeon in the body of a six-year-old boy. Ask him if he wants to do something—anything—and his immediate response is usually, “Nah, I don’t want to-slash-I don’t feel like it.”
Like, if you asked him, Hey, the boy, do you want to have ice cream for dinner?, he’d be all, “Nah, I had ice cream for dinner yesterday.” Or ask him if he wants to do something fun, like go on an amusement park ride or go swimming in the pool, and he’d be all, “Nah, I’d rather stay in the hotel room and play Minecraft.” I’m surprised that the boy hasn’t said something like, “Oy, my sciatica is acting up! And it’s so hot in Florida that I’m schvitzing up a storm over here!!!”
The irony is that as soon as the boy does the thing that he purports to not want to do, he invariably has fun doing that thing. This entire week in Florida, busy daddy and I would suggest something fun to do, and the boy would reject the activity out of hand. But after some
coercion cajoling, the boy always had fun.
Each afternoon, we’d ask the boy if he wanted to go swimming, and he’s say, “Nah, I went swimming yesterday.” And after a few rounds of negotiations, we’d get the boy into his swim gear, head down to the pool, and the boy always had a great time.
As we were walking to the restaurant for dinner tonight, I gave the boy some useful advice from my days doing improv: whenever somepony asks or tells you something, the response is always, Yes, and… The boy said, “Dad, that’s terrible advice.” And I said, Why do you say that? And the boy said, “What if someone asked me to shoot someone else? Or what if someone asked me to eat garbage? Is the answer always yes!?!”
And I said, First of all, no one would ever ask you to shoot anyone… Then the boy said, “It could happen….” Then I said, Second of all, no one would ever ask you to eat garbage… And the boy said, “Someone could ask that…” And I said, I don’t know where you get those crazy ideas of yours. And the boy said, “I get them from my brain.”
Whenever my six-year-old, curmudgeonly son tried to argue logic to its inevitable, ridiculous conclusion, I play my dad trump card, which is basically the “Because I said so” rule. So when the boy said he didn’t want to go swimming this afternoon, and I said he had to go swimming, he asked why, and I said, Because I said so, I knew I was being a tool for only a few minutes because by the time the boy hopped into the pool, he said, “Dad, I love swimming!”
It’s like I can’t ever win with this kid, sheesh!
- sweetcarolinealine likes this
- electradaddy said: I think it’s boys. And that age. Living a similar west coast life. x2.
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- auntaniesweird said: hahah, awwww, your little curmudgeon.
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- haldotdotdot said: Always the rebel.
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- cultivatingme said: this is my son - my 17 yr old son! hopefully yours is going through a phase or you’ll be pulling the ‘bc i said so card ’ for ever!
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- roxceeroxcee said: aaah my four year old is like this!! wth!
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- havekidslaughmore said: Oh man…so my kid too
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- thekidhasarrived said: You have now crushed any hope that I might have had that my child will become less contrary as he ages.
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