Me and my partner adopted twin boys from a family member of hers. They’re are 20 months old! Has your son asked why he has two dads? How did you explain it to him! I always wonder what that conversation will be like with our boys! Your family is beautiful!

Me and my partner adopted twin boys from a family member of hers. They're are 20 months old! Has your son asked why he has two dads? How did you explain it to him! I always wonder what that conversation will be like with our boys! Your family is beautiful!

Hi cmctra! Congrats on your adoption! I can’t imagine raising twin boys! And thanks for your question.

I can’t say that my son as ever asked me “why” he has two dads, but we’ve talked about how families come in lots of different shapes and sizes, whether a family has two dads or two moms or a mom and a dad or just a dad or just a mom or whatever.

Although my son understands that “most” families have a mom and a dad (at least that’s what he sees with his friends at school), having two dads is perfectly normal to him because it’s the only reality that he has ever known, thus he doesn’t question it. That could change when he gets older, but I’m not sure that it will. Busy daddy and I are the boy’s parents, and that’s pretty much it.

In addition to having friends who have two dads (or two moms or just a mom or just a dad or whatever), the boy also has a lot of friends who are adopted, and we’ve talked about adoption with him since he arrived, so there isn’t much mystery around that word for him. We’ve talked about birthparents, too, so the boy has a good understanding (at least to the extent that a six-year-old can understand) that sometimes forever parents aren’t the same people as birthparents—and sometimes they are.

When the boy was younger (like, last year) he used to ask me who his friends’ birthparents were, and when I told him that some of his friends’ birthparents were also their forever parents, the boy was sort of surprised, maybe because he thought all of his friends were adopted, too.