An Open Letter to the Moron Neighbor Kids

Dear Shit-for-Brains Bully Kids in My Neighborhood:

The next time you feel the uncontrollable compulsion to mess with my kid for no apparent reason and make him cry for no apparent reason (besides the fact that you think it’s funny and because he is younger than you are and because you are an unrepentant moron), just stop.

Because I promise I will bring a World of Pain to all of your sorry, wretched little lives. I don’t give a shit that you are 9 or 10 years old, but guess what? I have no problems, say, slashing the tires on your bike or tripping you so that you do a faceplant the next time I see you marauding the sidewalk in front of my house.

Also, I don’t give a shit who your parents are because they are Shit-for-Brains Bullies, too. Because the poisoned, emotionally impaired fruit doesn’t fall far from the poisoned alcoholic tree.

Stay away from my kid, you fucktards.

Funny, it took less than six hours back from idyllic, small-town USA for me to realize remember what a terrible world we live in. Thanks for nothing, douchebag wannabe and ex-New Yorkers.

  1. jon-of-art said: i hate especially hate it when parents say “they’re just kids”
  2. uglypuss said: I sprayed our bully neighbour kids with the hose and yelled at them until they cried once when they shoved my nephew around. Little boys are bigger dicks than little girls because they don’t fully realise what they’re doing.
  3. mayak46 said: just awful. so sorry.
  4. beingimportant said: Being a parent can really break your heart at times
  5. littlepeople-biglove said: Yes, you said ‘Fucktard’ my all time fav swear word. Boo to the bully, you get him lazy dad!
  6. kvknowsherfun said: Oh heeellllllllll no
  7. yellowonesdontstop said: Let’s roll. We’ll bring the brass knuckles.
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