Ugh. How much do I despise virtually Every Commuter in New York? Lots, I tell you. Here’s the thing: commuter trains are by their very nature crowded, horrible places. This means that to preserve a small semblance of humanity and common decency, it’s useful to let the little things slide. Like, for example, if one is sitting in the quiet car, and one has neglected to turn one’s mobile phone to silent, it’s NBD if said unsilenced phone rings, ONCE, and is immediately silenced. To my fellow fucktard commuter sitting in front of me: I’m very sorry that my phone accidentally rang, ONCE, before I had the chance to silence it. There’s no need to turn around FIVE times to give me dirty looks and remind me that we are sitting in the quiet car. The amount of time you spent explaining to me that my phone interrupted your quiet reading of 50 Shades of Grey and the volume at which you felt compelled to lecture me was much more disruptive to our fellow commuters than the ONE time that my phone rang, you stupid, stinkin’, obviously mentally disturbed, self-entitled suburban c u next Tuesday. I’m in no mood today to deal with crap from anyone, so stay out of my way, fucktards.

Ugh. How much do I despise virtually Every Commuter in New York? Lots, I tell you. Here’s the thing: commuter trains are by their very nature crowded, horrible places. This means that to preserve a small semblance of humanity and common decency, it’s useful to let the little things slide.

Like, for example, if one is sitting in the quiet car, and one has neglected to turn one’s mobile phone to silent, it’s NBD if said unsilenced phone rings, ONCE, and is immediately silenced.

To my fellow fucktard commuter sitting in front of me: I’m very sorry that my phone accidentally rang, ONCE, before I had the chance to silence it. There’s no need to turn around FIVE times to give me dirty looks and remind me that we are sitting in the quiet car.

The amount of time you spent explaining to me that my phone interrupted your quiet reading of 50 Shades of Grey and the volume at which you felt compelled to lecture me was much more disruptive to our fellow commuters than the ONE time that my phone rang, you stupid, stinkin’, obviously mentally disturbed, self-entitled suburban c u next Tuesday.

I’m in no mood today to deal with crap from anyone, so stay out of my way, fucktards.

  1. electradaddy said: You shoulda shanked that dude! I’da had yo back.
  2. girgle said: i wonder what her reaction would b if she turned around right when u were taking this pic. anyways she sounds like a douche, good thing u probably wont see her again :)
  3. somamasays said: An old man yelled at me for not using tongs the other day to grab a blueberry muffin. Even though he clearly saw I did NOT touch anything else. My kid has allergies to food, I don’t know what those tongs have touched! Stupid old man.
  4. bageldreams said: if I could hug you…I would! xoxo
  5. designingdaddy said: I kinda love this dark side coming out of you after the exhausting week and travel you’ve endured. Watch out world.
  6. daysofthedad said: Oh, how I don’t miss the commute…
  7. whitebrowndad said: Welcome baaack, to the place la de da de da. (welcome back Carter)
  8. mywildloves said: So true. If only I was on Tumblr when I used to take the bus to work through the Bronx. The stories.
  9. lifeloveandjonah said: My boyfriend commutes to NYC everyday from Long Island.. its like 4 hours a day of dealing with these people. The stories he tells me and how rude people can be, I can’t even believe it. My heart goes out to you.
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